Another Medieval Wedding Night

Again, I hope I'm not scandalizing anyone. But I'm really struck by these beautiful, and often subtle, descriptions. The story of Havelock the Dane survives in an English Romance, Havelok the Dane, and a French lai, Lai d'Haveloc. Havelock is the rightful heir to the Danish throne. However, his father is murdered and he has to be secreted out of the country before he can be executed. Although he takes up a place as a scullion, he grows up to be a strong, honorable man--what else could he do, being of royal blood? And just to prove he is royal , every night when he goes to sleep, a flame rises from his mouth due to the "excess heat" of his body. In the French version, Havelock's kindness and willingness to please makes the unknown kitchen servant a laughing stock. A dishonest steward marries the heir to the English throne to him to embarass her. She's now the queen of the cooking pots, he says. I really love the description of their wedding night:

To disgrace and dishonour her, Edelsi [the steward] made her sleep with him that night. When they were both brought to bed, she felt greatly ashamed of him, and he much more so for her [i.e. "on her behalf," not ashamed of her]. He lay down and went to sleep; he did not want her to see the flame that issued from him.

The story goes on:

But later they trusted each other so much, from words and looks, that he loved her and lay with her, as he should have done with his wife.

In a genre largely regarded as sexist, dominated by domineering men, we have a poignant account of two shy people too embarrassed to consumate their marriage. Even though they're wed, they wait until their in love before they join each other as man and wife. He has to learn self-confidence; and she has to learn to like him for who he is. I think that's very beautiful.

I'm quoting from Judith Weiss's anthology, The Birth of Romance. You can also read more about Havelock in Middle English Verse Romances.