Honest Blog

As you may have noticed, I've been doing more and more reading at Wedding Bee. They've got a nice balance of bits-and-bobs posts about wedding planning and serious posts about "marriage planning," so to speak.

This post really spoke to me. The blogger's concern about how her own personal failings might affect her marriage seem really familiar.

Sometimes I just want a knight. I want to be saved. I want to be needed and wanted and adored. I want someone to think of me first. I want someone else to figure things out. I want to be cherished. I want someone to come to my rescue. Unfortunately, those times seem to be when my beloved wants all those things too...

I've posted about my favorite story of knighthood, Erec and Enide nore comprehensively before. Erec and Enide are lovers in a medieval French romance. Erec wins a tournament, defends Enide's honor, and they are both happily married. But, years later, Erec discovers that Enide doesn't think he's quite the man he once was. Together, they set out on a grand quest to prove Erec's prowess. Along the way, they learn many valuable lessons about themselves, and each other.

Adam really is my knight, my Erec. Like Enide, I've had to gradually learn to trust him. Like Enide, I've had to learn never to undermine his masculinity by doubting his willingness or ability to take care of me.

He's had to learn lessons, too. Like Erec, he's had to learn that simply being a masculine hero isn't enough. Like Erec, he's had to learn that I'm not just his lover--I'm his partner.

But perhaps the most important lesson is the one we've learned together: even though they have different needs and desires they don't always understand, Erec and Enide are always best when they're putting their lover ahead of themselves. We both want to be loved and cherished in our own special way. We'll be happiest when we do that for each other.