Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Being Alone

Despite all the affected misanthropy of my early life, I really like people. I like being around them, even when my social awkwardness gets in the way. There are very few things I enjoy doing alone. It's so much nicer to go for walks, even silent and meditative ones, with other people--in fact, I started falling in love with Adam on just such a walk, Veterans Day 2003. It's even nicer to read with other people in the room, asking them to explain the funny bits and getting them a cup of tea when they seem especially abstracted. And I find God most easily praying with other people in the room, even if we're all doing it in silence.

That's one of the things I look forward to the most about marriage. Adam's a partner, to share life's moments with me, no matter how small. I'm glad every moment of our lives doesn't have to be an exciting climax. The spectacular and the mundane--it's all a pleasure with Adam.

But again and again during marriage prep we've been warned: you have to spend time alone. You'll go crazy if you spend all your time with your spouse! I guess I understand the principle, but I've often wondered how. What in my life will be as enjoyable without Adam there. Outings with friends perhaps, but that's not really spending time alone. How will I find the strength to be on my own when the temptation of Adam's company is so great?

It hit me tonight: bath time! Taking a bath is the one and only thing I truly prefer doing alone. I love to lie in the bubbles and lose myself in a book for hours at a time. I come out feeling so clean, renewed, ready to take on the world. And, based on the picture I found earlier, it seems I may have always felt that way. It's good to know I've found a place where I can find calm and peace by myself, without missing Adam.

So, I'm glad to have found a compromise with myself, something I really enjoy doing alone. I hope Adam can find his and that I can be as patient and understanding of it as he has been of my bubble bath disappearances when I go to visit him. Is there anything you
really enjoy doing alone?
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2 comments:

  1. ChrisJune 4, 2009 at 2:35 PM

    I prefer to do school work alone and get easily distracted if there's someone else in the room.

    This has been an annual argument with Christina. I would ask for a weekend by myself, and say that I need time to myself. She would pitch a fit, and wonder how a marriage is going to work with someone who needs "so much time to himself."

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  2. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    So, this is unrelated to your post (sorry!) but I thought of you immediately upon seeing the post... it's a bouquet made of the pages of a French novel. Imagine them left paper-coloured instead of painted... such a tribute to academia! :)

    http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/diy-paper-flower-bouquet#more-2208

    Yes, bubble baths are wonderful.

    I have such hangups about water conservation that I only permit myself 1 bath a year: July 31st. RC can tell you more about the significance ;)

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