After posting about a dream that could be interpreted as an unconscious annoyance at Adam yesterday, I thought it only fair to post about something I absolutely love about him today...
A friend of a friend had a major run in while doing the right thing. It reminded me how risky it sometimes is to "step up" when something is obviously wrong. Zak was particularly unlucky, but there are few opportunities for interfering with other people's lives that don't carry the risk of embarrassment or emotional trauma.
Because I've known Adam for more than a quarter of his life now (we've been dating for so long!), I watched him grow into a conscientious man who's willing to help others, even when there's a cost. It's been wonderful to realize that he's willing to take these kinds of risks to do the right thing.
I'm aware that last time he did this, I questioned his motives. I was embarrassed that he'd done something very public to help a woman in need. That's not the attitude of a teammate--a helpmate--with a shared commitment to helping others. I hope I can better learn from his example.
Particularly for a woman, there are serious limitations to how helpful I can be. My public sphere of helpfulness is usually limited to offering to call the police--confronting people in public isn't really part of the vocation of a 5'2" female student except under extraordinary circumstances. I'm especially glad to be with a man who takes being helpful seriously. We can use our strengths together to help others!
Funny how two of my best friends keep coming up on your blog :)
ReplyDeleteGive R hug for me!
I complimented Zak on "doing something courageous" at dinner the night he was home again, and he wrote it off more as "foolish". That led to a discussion of courage/foolishness, and I still stick to my belief that it was a good thing to do, if not wise for his own interest. If I'd been that woman, having at least 1 person think I was worth walking back down the block would have meant so much.